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Transcription:The P-P-P-Perfect Crime
Jessica Rabbit: Mmm, thanks for dinner, baby. Hope you have room to nurse. Baby Herman: Yeah, you too, doll. I've got somethin' for you, pal. (O.J. Simpson appears) O.J. Simpson: Boogie-boogie! Jessica Rabbit: Ooooh! O.J. Simpson?! O.J. Simpson: Gonna get cut, bitch! (Baby Herman starts crying) (one week earlier) (Screen turns black and white, and O.J. Simpson reads the newspaper.) Roger Rabbit: Excuse me, is this seat taken? O.J. Simpson: Oh, sure. Help yourself. Roger Rabbit: Women, huh? Can't live without 'em or can you? O.J. Simpson: What do you mean? Roger Rabbit: Why, Jessica's a cheating bitch, but I could never kill her. I'd be the prime suspect. O.J. Simpson: I'm not following you. Roger Rabbit: But if we kill each other's wives, jeepers, it would be the p-p-p-p-p-perfect crime! O.J. Simpson: Well, nice talking to you, I guess. But I really must be going. Roger Rabbit: Oh, I got ya. O.J. Simpson: What? Roger Rabbit: I got ya. (winks) (at the street) O.J. Simpson: Nicole! I brought you your child support! I know it's a few weeks so then, but you know how completely not bitter I am about the divorce. (Roger Rabbit accidently bumps over O.J. Simpson) Roger Rabbit: Oh, hey there! O.J. Simpson: Oh my! What did you do?! Roger Rabbit: What did I do? We had a deal. Now, it's your turn to kill my wife. O.J. Simpson: I can't take the life of another human being. Roger Rabbit: P-p-p-p-p-p-pleeeeeease? O.J. Simpson: No! Roger Rabbit: But, but, but, but, but, we had a deal! See? You don't wanna see me when I'M STEAMED!! (Roger Rabbit gone crazy by the steam) Roger Rabbit: Take care of my wife or it's curtains for you! O.J. Simpson: Oh, no. (Screen turns into normal where it has colors) Jessica Rabbit: ...to nurse. Baby Herman: Yeah, you too, doll. I've got somethin' for you, pal. (O.J. Simpson appears) O.J. Simpson: Boogie-boogie! Jessica Rabbit: Ooooh! O.J. Simpson?! O.J. Simpson: Gonna get cut, bitch! (Baby Herman then starts crying) O.J. Simpson: If you don't get outta town, your husbund's trying to kill you. (Roger Rabbit appears) Roger Rabbit: The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the!! I knew I couldn't trust your kind! O.J. Simpson: What the fuck is that suppose to mean?! (Roger Rabbit then starts acting crazy) Roger Rabbit: REAL PEOPLE! I MEANT REAL PEOPLE!! (O.J. Simpson kills Roger Rabbit) O.J. Simpson: AH! UGH! KILL HIM! AH! DIE! DIE! YOU KILL HIM! KILL HIM! TAKE THAT! TAKE THAT! HIT SOMEONE! EH! Ooo, yeah! (O.J. Simpson stops killing Roger Rabbit, and Roger Rabbit dies) O.J. Simpson: Hey, that's what you get when you squeeze the juice. Jessica Rabbit: So when you said, "You're gonna get cut, bitch!", it was a warning, not a threat? O.J. Simpson: You got it! Baby Herman: Huh, why do you have to call her a bitch? (O.J. Simpson gets confused, and the flashback ends.) Old O.J. Simpson: And that's how I track down your gammy's real killer. (O.J. Simpson's Grandson crying, and the maid carries the boy.) Old O.J. Simpson: So, I must've spook the boy. Maid: Oh, he could just sense evil, that's all. (Maid carries the boy away. Cut to static.) Category:Transcriptions